October 16, 2023
By now, I’ve delivered hundreds of keynotes, given a TEDx talk, and, most importantly, sung in a subway (despite being a terrible singer).
I feel pretty good about my public speaking skills.
But it took me years to find out what actually works in public speaking.
To make sure you don’t repeat my mistakes and to save you years of your life, here are the 3 steps of how I’d learn public speaking (if I could start over).
When I started on my speaking journey, I only spoke in public when I had to give a presentation at work.
But that wasn’t too often. Without practicing, I was still a nervous wreck when going on stage.
It only started getting much better once I started giving impromptu speeches by myself.
How does it work?
First, pick a random debate topic, such as
Anyway, second, decide whether you want to argue for or against the topic.
Third, take a few seconds, max a minute to structure your speech.
And lastly, give your speech.
It’s a very powerful exercise. You can even increase the stakes by giving that speech in front of an audience. I’ve given dozens of impromptu speeches in front of my Dutch teacher, Jann.
When I started with public speaking, I focused on filler words, pausing, body language.
That was a complete waste of my time.
Why?
Because it doesn’t matter as a beginner public speaker.
As a beginner, there is only one thing that matters:
To feel good about being on stage.
What prevents us from feeling good on stage?
Our minds. We worry like crazy about how other people perceive us.
“Do they think that I’m smart enough?” “Am I qualified for this role?” “Do I look tired?”
Suddenly, we go down the rabbit hole, thinking about the million things that could go wrong.
So how can we break that pattern and give fewer f*cks about other people’s opinion?
Through constructive embarrassment. It’s a practice where you put yourself in an embarrassing situation — on purpose.
That can be:
Anything that makes you cringe is a great opportunity to embarrass yourself.
Wanna see the last embarrassing thing I did? Here’s a video on how I tried to make friends in the weirdest places.
I’ve joined a few clubs and courses that have helped me become a better public speaker.
Debate club, Toastmasters, stand-up comedy.
They’re all great, but there is one that has helped me the most in becoming a better public speaker:
Improv theatre.
Improv theatre is a form of live performance where two people create a scene together on a random topic, on the spot, without a script or pre-planned material.
It’s incredibly difficult. I still cringe doing it today, but it has had a major impact on my public speaking.
In improv, I learned how to be “ok” with pressure, how to stay in the moment and how to interact with any audience.
So, if I was starting, I’d look for an improv class or group in my city.
Try out these three steps, and I guarantee you’ll be an incredible public speaker in no time.
But hey, in case you have a speech coming up and you want to leave this magical first impression, you may want to check out the following article as well. Here, I’m gonna give you the 5 best openers to start your presentation!
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