November 1, 2023
In today’s fast-paced world, it’s incredibly easy to fall into the trap of isolation. With the convenience of services like Amazon, Netflix, and UberEats, you can essentially live like a hermit without ever leaving your home. But if you want to be more social, increase your likability, and build deeper friendships, it’s essential to get out there.
In this article, we‘ll explore five practical steps on how to be more social and create meaningful connections with others.
The first step toward becoming more social is to expose yourself to more social interactions.
When you venture outside your comfort zone and engage in real-world activities, you open the door to unexpected social interactions. You may meet new people, strike up conversations, and form connections you wouldn’t have experienced otherwise. These interactions can lead to meaningful relationships and broaden your social horizons.
Challenge yourself to go out every day and have at least one interaction with a stranger. This doesn’t have to be a lengthy conversation; even a simple smile or brief exchange of pleasantries can count. By making it a daily mission, you’ll gradually become more comfortable with social interactions and break the barriers that isolation creates.
Do you feel nervous about going out there and talking to people? Check out our blog on How to build confidence through constructive embarrassment.
One common question we encounter daily is, “How are you?”
Most people respond with the standard, “Good. How are you?” or “Good. Happy that the sun is out.”
While there’s nothing wrong with these responses, they don’t lead to deeper connections. Instead, try responding with a short story about yourself, perhaps something interesting that recently happened, a new skill you’ve acquired, or a minor annoyance you’ve experienced.
Sharing personal stories is an excellent way to make your interactions more memorable and meaningful. It invites others to get to know you better and provides a foundation for a deeper connection. Stories can be about your hobbies, recent experiences, or even your goals.
For example, if someone were to ask me today, “how are you?”, I’d respond like that:
I’d say “I’m good. I just started this new book on deep work and it’s so freaking good. Anyway what about you. What has been your favorite book this year?”
When you share more about yourself, you create an opportunity for others to relate and engage in more meaningful conversations.
Want to go deeper on this? Then check out our free Masterclass on 3-Step formula to master the art of storytelling.
Likable people don’t just talk about themselves; they show a genuine interest in others by asking questions that encourage thoughtful responses.
Many people struggle with asking good questions.
The usual “How are you?” or “What have you been up to?” can yield superficial responses, especially when speaking with introverted or reserved individuals.
Instead of generic questions, use more specific inquiries that include “power” words. Here are some examples:
Power words like first, last, best, worst, favorite, least favorite immediately ask for a great story and invite more engaging dialogues.
Once you’ve asked an engaging question, it’s vital to listen actively. Many people struggle with this aspect of conversation. Here’s how you do it right.
When you ask a question, it’s easy to become lost in your thoughts, worrying about what to ask next, or drifting into unrelated matters.
This behavior can make the other person feel unheard and unimportant.
Instead, focus your attention entirely on the person you’re conversing with. Listen carefully to every word they say, anticipate their thoughts, and treat them as if they were the most fascinating person on the planet.
In a world filled with distractions, giving someone your undivided attention is a precious gift. When you focus entirely on the person you’re interacting with, it shows that you value their presence and respect their thoughts. This not only makes them feel appreciated but also fosters a deeper connection.
Just yesterday, I was having a terrible day. Nothing seemed to work. I was tired. I wasn’t feeling good.
But then someone at the office walked up to me and said, “Philipp, I love your shaved head. Sure your long hair was cool as well, but now you look like Jason Statham.”
He made my day. Just through that tiny compliment, I immediately felt much better.
By giving compliment, you’re spreading happiness. Other people will also remember for how you made them feel.
You can complement their looks, what they do, or how they behave. The options are infinite.
But there are a few things to keep in mind when complementing someone:
These five steps can significantly improve your social skills and help you build more meaningful connections with others. Becoming more social is a journey, and it might take time to feel comfortable with these changes, but the effort is worth it. By consistently practicing these steps, you’ll find that making friends and connecting with people becomes more natural and enjoyable. If you’d like to see how I applied these steps in real life, check out my video I Tried Making Friends in the Weirdest Places.
Are you ready to transform your storytelling skills?
Discover how your storytelling skills score and uncover useful insights to help you become a charismatic storyteller:
