April 20, 2021
What if I asked you to sit on the floor of the Starbucks in your city?
You probably wouldn’t take me seriously.
You’d think: ‘Why on earth would anyone do that FOR FUN?’
Well, but what if I told you that you could build life-long confidence by doing a few embarrassing exercises for a month?
You’d be interested, right?
This article shows you how to build lasting confidence through constructive embarrassment.
Let’s go!
Constructive embarrassment is a practice where you put yourself in an embarrassing situation — on purpose. That can be anything that embarrasses you, such as “asking a stranger for a hug” or “singing in the street”.
I know what you’re thinking:
“Why would I do that? I’ve done enough embarrassing things in my life, and I don’t need anymore!”
Well, because if you can handle feelings of shame in those situations, you can handle those feelings in any situation.
You’ll no longer care obsessively about what other people think.
You’ll get comfortable doing whatever you like.
And, you’ll build the belief that everything in life turns out fine.
After years of coaching hundreds of people on presentation skills, storytelling, and mindset, I’ve noticed that constructive embarrassment is the best practice to build lasting confidence.
At this point, you’ve either stopped reading because it’s too scary, or you’re curious to give it a try.
Well, congrats for being one of the bravest souls willing to give it a try.
The good thing is that you can do an infinite number of things to embarrass yourself.
For a few of you, it may be terrifying to sing in public; for others, it may be tough to ask someone for a compliment. It varies for each person, and each person has a very different perspective on what he or she considers embarrassing.
To help you get started, here’s a list of 15 ideas for constructive embarrassment:
At first, I’d recommend picking something challenging, but still manageable. Choose something that makes your heart race — but that doesn’t give you a full heart attack.
Once you’ve done a few exercises and gotten more comfortable being uncomfortable, you can try out the more embarrassing challenges.
Let’s say you’ve picked an embarrassing activity.
How can you make sure to, actually, go for it, and get the most out of it?
Because let’s be clear, constructive embarrassment is not easy.
Particularly, in the beginning, it’s very uncomfortable.
On some days, I walked around for two hours before I found the courage to do a challenge.
And on other days, I did the challenge, but so quickly that nobody saw me.
Lucky for you.
In that time, I developed a system to get the most out of constructive embarrassment.
The system I created consists of three steps called CEA: Count, Embrace & Appreciate.
The first step is to ‘Count down’.
To avoid walking the streets for hours without doing anything, use Mel Robbins’ Five-Second Rule.
How does it work?
The moment you see an opportunity to embarrass yourself (e.g., seeing a stranger you want to hug), you count down in your head 5-4-3-2-1, and you go for it.
5-4-3-2-1-Go!
That’s the rule.
It’s a simple but powerful rule to avoid getting lost in your thoughts and finding the courage to go for the challenge.
The second step is to ‘Embrace the challenge’.
The moment you start the challenge, you’ll instinctively want to get up and run away.
Resist that urge.
Stay with that uncomfortable feeling for a moment.
Feel the sensations in your body.
Embrace the challenge.
The last step is ‘Appreciate what you’ve just done’.
You’ve just done something that brings you closer to your true life goals.
Be grateful for that.
Tell yourself:
“I’m so grateful and happy for having done this exercise.
This is weird, but it brings me closer to my true life goals.
Thanks for having the courage!”
Appreciate what you’ve done!
These are the three steps of CEA.
This system has helped do the exercises consistently, and it will do the same for you.
Give it a try the next time you’re out!
What’s the worst thing that could happen?
People will think you’re weird. So what?!
What’s the best outcome?
You’ll feel more confident dealing with any challenge in life.
Confidence is a skill that anyone can learn!
Do one embarrassing thing every day for 30 days, and you’ll build the confidence to achieve anything in life.
Leave us a comment below about what exercise you’ve tried and how the journey has been for you.
Would you like to help your coworkers or classmates build lasting confidence?
Get in touch with us now for customised keynotes and workshops on constructive embarrassment.
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