May 7, 2025
Now, this might sound a little crazy, but in this article, you might finally overcome your fear of public speaking. And I know it’s a pretty bold claim to make, right? But the exercise you’ll discover here changed my life. And it might do the same for you.
For context, 10 years ago, I was terrified of public speaking. I was the kind of person who would start shaking uncontrollably the moment I had to step in front of any audience. And I tried everything: books, breathing exercises, power poses. Nothing worked.
At one point, I even thought, “Okay, I guess this is just who I am. I’ll just never speak in public—or at least avoid it.”
That only changed in October 2017 when I stumbled across this rather strange article. When I read it, it sounded insane, but I was desperate. So I threw on my sweater, went outside, and started walking. That’s when I saw a man in a suit coming toward me.
A bit shy, I said, “Uh, excuse me, sir… can I give you a hug?” And the man looked at me, “Uh, sure. Yeah, bring it in.” And he gave me this awkward man-hug. I just stood there—oh, this actually worked.
That day, I discovered an exercise called constructive embarrassment, and it changed my life
It’s exactly what it sounds like. You intentionally do something a little bit embarrassing—like asking a stranger for a high five, lying down in a coffee shop, or maybe dancing in a public square.
Now, before you say that this is dumb and odd, hold up—I get it. I know it sounds ridiculous. But to understand why it actually works, let’s go back in time.
I want you to meet Bob. Bob is your great-great-great-great-great-grandfather. Bob lived in a tribe. If the tribe liked him, great—he got food, fire, and protection. If they didn’t like him, he’d be kicked out and probably eaten by a lion. So Bob became obsessed with one thing: Is he fitting in? Did he say something wrong? Are his tribemates judging him?
That fear made sense—his survival depended on it.
Fast forward to today: You’ve got an iPhone 16, a meditation app, and maybe even a smart fridge that tells you when to drink oat milk. But your brain? Still basically Bob’s brain—constantly scanning the room for signs of social rejection.
So, when you stand up to speak in front of others, your brain goes wild: “What if I blank out? What if they can tell I’m nervous? What if I mess up?” You’re not afraid of public speaking. You’re afraid of being judged—of being rejected by your group.
But the good news is, there’s a fix for that. And that is constructive embarrassment.
Let’s say you’re just starting out and you care a lot what other people think. Maybe try some beginner-friendly ideas: ask a stranger for a high five, give a genuine compliment, or ask someone for their best life advice—“What’s the best advice you’ve ever received?”
If you’re feeling bolder, try more challenging tasks: dance in a public square, announce the weather in the subway, or lie down on the floor of a coffee shop.
You can do one tiny challenge every day—that’s awesome. Or you can do just one big challenge right before a big moment or presentation.
I did exactly that before my TED Talk in 2022. That day, I was in a packed train heading to the venue, and I thought, “You know what? Let me get ready.” So I stood up in front of the entire crowd and said, “Hey everyone, I want to sing a song for you.”
You should know—I’m not a good singer. I’m a terrible singer. I cannot hit a note. But I started singing this random reggaeton song. People were turning away, but I kept going. I finished the whole thing and sat back down.
Later that day, I stepped onto that red carpet of TED. And you know what? I felt okay—because I thought, “Hey, I just sang in a freaking train. I think I can handle this.”
That’s the power of constructive embarrassment.
Now that you have some exercises, how can you actually get started and not just think about it, but actually do it?
To help with that, I developed a system called C.E.O. — Count, Embrace, Own.
Think of yourself as the Chief Embarrassment Officer.
In the beginning, I’d spend hours looking for the perfect moment to embarrass myself. Sometimes I’d walk around for two hours and still not do any challenge.
That changed when I discovered Mel Robbins’ 5-second rule. The second you spot an opportunity, don’t think. Count in your head: “5-4-3-2-1—boom,” and go for it. It helps stop overthinking and gets you moving.
When you do the challenge, your body might freak out: “Abort mission! Everyone’s watching! Leave the country!” That’s totally normal. Don’t fight it. Just breathe and notice: What are you feeling? What are you thinking? Maybe your chest is tight. Maybe you’re thinking, “I hate this.” Good. Stay with it. These are the same feelings that come up in public speaking—and if you can handle them here, you can handle them anywhere.
During my first week, I lay down on the floor of a Starbucks. After 23 seconds, the barista came over and asked if I am okay. I jumped and said that I was doping the constructive embarrassment challenge – and I started making excuses.
That just makes it harder. Don’t do that.
If someone asks why you’re doing something weird, tell them, “Because I felt like it.” Or, “Thanks for asking—I just wanted to lie down on the floor.”
If you want true confidence—the kind that doesn’t crumble under pressure—start embarrassing yourself on purpose. It rewires your fear of judgment and builds real self-trust.
Confidence is one thing, but the best speakers master one more skill: storytelling.
Want to captivate your audience, conquer stage fright, and become an unforgettable speaker? Discover Eric Edmeades’ 8 storytelling secrets to jumpstart your journey in this article.
Enjoy.
P.S. Want to become a stronger communicator?
Here are two ways I can support you:
👉 Want to tell more engaging stories? Join our next Storytelling Workshop.
👉 Want to speak with confidence and clarity? Check out our Communication Skills Training.
Both are fun, practical, and designed to help you grow fast.
Are you ready to transform your storytelling skills?
Discover how your storytelling skills score and uncover useful insights to help you become a charismatic storyteller:
