October 12, 2024
The most successful entrepreneurs, creators, and leaders are also magnetic speakers.
But how did they get so good at it?
For my book, Public Speaking with Confidence, I interviewed 34 professional speakers to find out how they got so freaking good.
And I found that there were a few methods that they use that could turn any average person into an incredible speaker.
In this article, you’ll uncover the 5 steps to becoming a better speaker than 99% of people.
When I first started my speaking journey, I did what most people do: I took a bunch of public speaking courses. You know the ones—they teach you how to cut down on filler words, where to place your hands, and how to pronounce things clearly.
But here’s the thing. Even though I followed their advice, I didn’t get much better.
Why was that?
Well, stuff like avoiding filler words, pausing for effect, and using perfect body language?
That’s all useful… once you’re already a solid speaker.
But if you’re just starting out, obsessing over technical details is kinda like putting lipstick on a pig. It doesn’t really make you a great speaker.
So, what should you focus on instead?
Simple: stop giving so many f**ks!
Honestly, most people are way too in their heads when they’re speaking. They’re thinking:
“What if I mess up?”
“What if I forget something?”
“I hope they think I’m smart enough for this.”
But here’s the cold, hard truth: you’ll never be a stellar speaker if you’re too busy worrying about what everyone else thinks.
How do you fix that? How do you give fewer f*cks?
By practicing what I call “Constructive Embarrassment.“
Yep, you heard me. Constructive Embarrassment is about putting yourself in awkward, embarrassing situations on purpose. Why?
So you can get used to caring less about people’s opinions. Once you care less, speaking in front of others becomes a whole lot easier.
What are some ways to embarrass yourself?
Here are a few to get you started:
The options are infinite.
Right now, you’re probably thinking, “Philipp, are you out of your mind? There’s no way I’m doing any of that.”
But if that’s your reaction, it just means you really need to try this. The more uncomfortable it feels, the more you’ve got to gain.
So how do you start?
There are two ways to practice Constructive Embarrassment:
Option 1: Try 1 challenge a day
If you’re serious about becoming a confident speaker, commit to a 14 or 30-day challenge where you do one embarrassing thing every day. Before you protest, “Ahh, I don’t have the time for that,” let me tell you. It takes a maximum of 2 minutes to complete a challenge. 2 minutes a day over 30 days? That’s 60 minutes. 60 minutes seems like a pretty fair deal for something that will turn you into a public speaking rockstar, right?
Option 2: Do something embarrassing before your next big moment.
Let me share a quick story. In May 2022, I was invited to give a TED Talk here in the south of the Netherlands. On the train to the event, I thought, “Let’s get into the right state.”
So, I stood up in the middle of the train and said, “Excuse me, can I have your attention, please? I’m going to sing a song for you.”
And, by the way, I’m a terrible singer.
But I did it anyway—I sang some random Reggaeton song for a solid three minutes.
It was super awkward. People were giving me side-eye, probably wondering if they’d accidentally boarded a circus train.
But here’s the magic: after that, standing on stage in front of hundreds of people felt like a piece of cake. Because if knew that if I could survive that train performance, I could handle anything.
So, next time you’ve got an important presentation or speech coming up, do something embarrassing beforehand. It’ll get you in the right mindset, and you’ll realize public speaking isn’t nearly as scary as you thought.
Now that you know how to give fewer f*ks, let’s tackle one more crucial aspect that’s keeping people from feeling comfy speaking in public.
We’re all terrified of public speaking for one main reason:
We’re scared something will go wrong.
You might think:
“What if the projector stops working?”
“What if I spill coffee on my computer?”
“What if I forget everything I wanted to say?”
Well, after giving hundreds of presentations, I can guarantee one thing:
Something will go wrong. Something will happen that you didn’t plan for.
And that’s perfectly okay! Things will go off the rails.
When that happens, most beginners freeze like a deer in headlights. They lose their place, their confidence crumbles, and they start sweating bullets.
But experienced speakers? They know how to roll with it. They adapt so smoothly that the audience barely notices anything went wrong at all.
So how do you get better at handling surprises on stage?
You learn to improvise!
Improvisation teaches you to think quickly, adapt on the spot, and keep going no matter what. It’s a skill, and like any skill, you can develop it with practice.
Here’s how to get started:
If you can, join an improv group.
Improv groups are the ultimate training ground for thinking on your feet. You’re given a random topic or scenario and have to create a scene on the spot, often with others. This helps you practice responding under pressure in a fun, supportive environment.
Look up local improv or theater groups in your city, or search online for virtual groups.
Trust me, joining an improv group will transform your ability to speak confidently and handle the unexpected.
But what if there’s no improv group near you?
No problem! You can practice improvisation on your own.
Here’s a simple way to do it:
Step 1: Pick a Random Topic
Start by choosing a random topic—anything will do! It could be something serious like “Should schools have uniforms?” or something light like “Is pineapple on pizza a crime?”
Step 2: Structure Your Thoughts
Give yourself just 30 seconds to structure your thoughts. You can’t write out every detail—just jot down a few key points or words to guide your speech.
The goal is to get comfortable with thinking on your feet.
With practice, you’ll get faster and faster, until you won’t need prep time at all.
Step 3: Deliver Your Speech
Now it’s time to speak!
Stand up, start talking, and don’t worry about making it perfect.
Talk for two to five minutes, letting your ideas flow naturally.
For example, you could start with:
“Ladies and gentlemen, today we’re diving into a heated debate: [Insert Topic Here]!”
The more you practice this, the better you’ll get at handling unexpected situations, whether on stage or in everyday conversations.
If I had to name the two biggest things that have made me a much more comfortable speaker, they’d be:
Constructive Embarrassment and improv.
If you do anything after this video, focus on those two.
But now that you’re starting to get more comfortable speaking in public, it’s time to refine your delivery and perfect your performance.
Once you’ve gotten comfortable with improvisation, it’s time to fine-tune your delivery.
How do you do that?
The easiest (and most powerful) tool is recording yourself on camera.
I know, watching yourself can be super awkward—I avoided it for years!
But trust me, it’s one of the best ways to spot areas for improvement.
But it’s not just recording, there is actually a special technique behind:
Step 1: Record Yourself
Grab your phone, hit record, and deliver your speech while looking directly into the camera.
That speech can be an actual speech or just on any random topic that you’re improvising on. Doesn’t matter.
Step 2: Review the Sound
Now comes the interesting part.
Take your phone, turn the volume up, but put your phone face down.
And just listen. So, you’re not watching yourself. You just listen to the sound of your voice.
Listening without watching helps you understand how your voice is affecting the message.
Step 3: Review the Visuals
Now, do the opposite.
Turn the volume down and watch the video with no sound.
This time, focus on your body language:
By watching on mute, you can spot areas where your body language might be helping—or hurting—your delivery.
Step 4: Pick One Area to Improve
After reviewing the sound and the visuals, choose one area to work on.
Now, what should you focus on?
Focus on what’s distracting the most.
For example, a few filler words here and there probably won’t distract your audience.
But if you use filler words every few seconds, that might be a problem.
Or if you have an accent, it’s probably fine.
But if that accent makes it impossible to understand you, then maybe work on that.
Find the thing that stands out the most, and make it your priority to improve on that.
When I watched myself for the first time, I realized that I needed to work on my facial expression.
Even though it felt like I was smiling, I looked like a teenager going through puberty having the worst day of his life.
That I only realized because I recorded myself.
Step 5: Practice That One Skill
For the next 2 weeks, focus on practicing that one skill.
Every time you improvise or give a speech, pay attention to that one skill.
For example, right now, I focus on pausing more often.
So, every time I practice, I remind myself, “Philipp, try to pause more often.”
In 2 weeks I’ll record myself again and see if I’ve made any progress.
If not, I continue working on that same skill.
If I feel good about my pauses after those two weeks, I pick the next skill to work on.
By tackling one skill at a time, you’ll improve much faster than trying to focus on everything.
But now that we’re starting to improve our delivery, it’s time to explore how to keep your audience on the edges of their seats.
In my previous job as a Product Manager at Uber, I felt pretty good about my presentations.
I thought, “Philipp, you’re such a pro. Using a hook to get everyone’s attention. What a master presenter.”
But after, I realized that I was still not great, because I kept losing people in the middle of the presentation.
Now, what was the problem?
The problem was that I only focused on hooking my audience at the start of the presentation.
Not in the middle.
But that’s not how attention works.
You need to keep re-hooking your audience throughout your presentation.
If your presentation gets predictable, people will zone out, no matter how good your content is.
Every 60 seconds, there should be something that raises anticipation.
Something unexpected.
Something that makes your audience want to stick around for more.
So, how do you keep hooking them throughout?
The key is to learn a variety of techniques or spices to keep your speech interesting.
One example is the Anticipation Hook.
What’s an Anticipation Hook?
An anticipation hook is when you hint at the exciting content that is about to come. When you build anticipation for what your audience is about to hear.
Example:
“In just a minute, I’m going to share a strategy that will double your income with half the effort.”
“Now, this next technique is my personal favorite—just using this one idea can drastically improve your results.”
These statements create curiosity.
Your audience will want to keep listening to find out what’s coming.
But the Anticipation Hook is just one technique.
There are many ways to spice up your presentations.
After analyzing hundreds of great speeches, books, and courses, I’ve identified 20 techniques that the best speakers use over and over again.
These include stories, interactive calculations, polls, and many more.
To save you weeks of doing that same analysis, I’ve created a document that outlines all 20 techniques.
So, check out that document, pick 1-2 techniques, and the next time you practice your speech, try weaving those techniques into your speech.
That will make your speech much more engaging.
But how can you transform your public speaking skills not just for that one speech, but forever?
How do you change your entire being and turn into that magnetic speaker that is within you?
I want to share a story that transformed my speaking journey, and I feel that it will do the same for you.
In 1998, Ben Hunt Davis, a member of the British men’s rowing team, was frustrated. His team had just lost the world championship in Cologne—again. Since 1912, they hadn’t won a gold medal, and Ben was desperate to change that.
One day, Ben had a breakthrough idea. He called a meeting with his team at the boathouse and said, “To win the next Olympics, we need to make drastic changes—not just in our training but in our everyday lives. From now on, I want you to ask yourself one question: Will this make the boat go faster?”
From that moment, every team member asked themselves this question before making any decision.
One rower loved playing video games late into the night. He started asking, “Will this make the boat go faster?”
Another rower was overtraining and risking injury. He asked, “Will this make the boat go faster?”
And one more loved eating pizza. He, too, asked, “Will this make the boat go faster?”
By asking this question daily, the team made choices that pushed them closer to their goal.
Two years later, at the Sydney Olympics, nobody expected much from the British team. Everyone thought the US, Canada, or Australia would win.
But on September 24, 2000, the British boat crossed the finish line 0.8 seconds ahead of the Australians, clinching the gold medal and surpassing all expectations.
The simple question, “Will this make the boat go faster?” was the key to their success.
So, how can you use this in your public speaking?
Ask yourself a similar question: “Will this make me a better speaker?”
Every day, you make choices that can help you improve your public speaking, or do nothing at all.
Consider your daily options:
For example, this morning, I had the choice: Do I record a 5-minute video to be more confident on camera, or do I start responding to all my emails?
And I chose the video.
Each choice is an opportunity to become the speaker you aspire to be.
Make your life the arena!
If you follow those 5 steps, you’ll become a better speaker than 99% of people.
But hey, the best speakers are also captivating storytellers.
For that, you may want to check out this next article, in which I share how to become a better storyteller than 99% of people.
Are you ready to transform your storytelling skills?
Discover how your storytelling skills score and uncover useful insights to help you become a charismatic storyteller:
