May 13, 2024
By now, I’ve coached thousands of people at companies like Google, VISA, and ASICS on storytelling and there is one habit that led to the largest transformation.
If you apply that habit you’ll move from telling no stories or lousy stories to telling incredibly captivating stories.
Here’s the storytelling habit:
Don’t talk about the weather!
Let me explain!
Every single day, we’re asked one question dozens of times:
“How are you?”
How do most people respond?
They say something like…
“Good. Thanks.”
“Good. Happy that the sun is out.”
Or “Ok. Was stuck in traffic this morning.”
Now, there is nothing wrong with that, but it’s a missed opportunity.
Because this question is a chance to tell a tiny story and to build a connection.
Let me give you an example.
If someone were to ask me today “How are you?”, I’d respond like that:
“I’m good. Actually, I had this beautiful moment.
After two weeks on the road, I walked into my apartment, hopped on my couch, let out this big sigh. I was just so relieved to be back to my four walls, my routine, and even my coffee mug.
Anyway, what about you? When was the last time you got back from a big trip and how was that for you?”
That’s it. A tiny story that tells a little bit more about me as a human.
The people that became the best storytellers in the shortest time possible, told these tiny stories at any occasion.
What are the things you can talk about when someone asks you “how are you?”
Anything that is more interesting than the weather or the traffic.
Here are some prompts to get you started:
But don’t limit yourself to these prompts.
Every day, you probably have several moments that stand out or touch your heart in some way.
1. Share short stories: 30 seconds, 60 seconds maybe if it’s an incredible story. There are times for longer stories, but not in this initial phase. Don’t share your entire life story yet.
2. Ask a question: This exercise is not only about you sharing a story, but also starting a conversation with another person – to build a connection. You do that by asking them a question that gets a story in return. Ask a question that asks for a specific experience in time. So, after sharing a story about your fun trip, ask “what has been your most fun trip this year?” or after sharing a story about a weekend with your family ask, “When was the last time you spent some time with your family and how was that for you?”
3. Don’t look for perfection: These stories don’t need to be perfect. They’re a bit messy. That’s alright. The goal is just to get as many reps as possible and to start feeling comfortable sharing stories anywhere.
A few of you are probably still a little skeptical: “Sharing something unsolicited. That’s awkward.”
I know what you mean. I felt the same when I started with the stories years ago!
After using these stories hundreds of times, I can say:
In 8 out of 10 times I have beautiful conversation based on that story.
2 out of 10 times maybe neutral where they don’t care about it.
But there, I’d encourage you to gather your own data points.
Try it out for a week. Anytime someone asks you “how are you?”, try responding with a tiny story that shows a bit more about you as a human. This tiny storytelling habit will help you transform your storytelling skills and lead to much interesting conversations.
But hey, I’m mindful that you may need some more help to structure your stories. If that’s the case, you may want to check out this next article in which I’ll share my favorite storytelling structure.
Enjoy!
Are you ready to transform your storytelling skills?
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